Thursday, August 18, 2011

Under the Knife Like Heidi Montag

Hello, whoever has not yet given up on this blog!!

I have so many excuses for why I haven't been keeping up with this lately! How's 5 weddings, getting hooked on The Wire (yes, I know we're super late on this), and having some badass back surgery?

I realize most "bloggers" continue doing this regardless of distractions but I'm not one of them and I have sworn an oath to myself that I shall never post multiple pictures of oatmeal (which is what those real "bloggers" do), so get over it. I'm a shitty blogger and I only do it when I have stuff to talk about, or when I'm motivated by Vicodin (as is the case right now).

That's from the back surgery, btw. As much fun as it is to pop a V for a bad headache, this is not one of those days.

The short-long story is that after about 5 months of seeing a sports med doctor for lower back pain and a weird pain in my left hip, and trying all kinds of things like physical therapy and chiropractors and all that junk, I did some sleuthing and attempted to self diagnose my condition.
I found an article on eipsacral lipomas and decided that they were what was causing the pain in my back. Everyone told me I was crazy and that I read too much, but I am nothing if not a motivated patient. I faxed the article to my Dr. and he suspected I was right. To find out if I was, he injected some cortisone into the lipomas in my back. Which he was SO excited about. He had never injected into soft tissue before. This was a totally new thing for him AND me. Which would freak out most patients, I'm sure, but for whatever reason made me feel much more comfortable that he was being very thorough. And a really good doctor is always excited to learn new things, no matter how long he's been in practice. I hope he can help someone else with the same problem some day. Because from what I've read, lipomas are so common and so rarely linked to pain (less than 30% of cases) that they are almost always overlooked.
Anyhow, I felt like a million bucks the next day. Ran a bunch of miles, was a rockstar.
A month later, he did another injection. And then, my body FREAKED OUT. A totally random and rare reaction that probably deserves its own post. Later.
But the pain went away in my back AND my hip (magic!). It came back once the shots wore off, but that was to be expected.

Since I responded so well, we decided they (the lipomas) needed to come out. But because they're in my fat, I needed to have them liposuctioned out. Try getting insurance approval for THAT. I cried. It worked. And yesterday I went under the knife.
I asked my doctor to go on ahead and take whatever fat got in his way. But my hips are still the same size, so I don't think he did.

It will be a few weeks before I know for sure if it was a success. But that weird left hip pain feels almost 100% better. Every fiber of my being is itching to run (that could be the Vicodin talking). Its been almost a month. I am sure when I do finally get to run again, my soul will sing. And my lungs and legs will scream.

Did I also mention I haven't had a drink in a month, either? Lost about 5 pounds doing nothing.
Probably some if it is muscle, but I'll take it.
I wonder how much this will make me want lipo on the rest of my body. The recovery has been pretty tame so far.
Move over, Heidi Montag!
Kidding. I have no desire to be a robot. Just a hot soccer mom.